Let it Roll
by TowMondler
Summary: Chandler decides to win back the love of his life
1. Back when I had you

Hello children, here is my next one. I had the idea and so I wanted to get it up, even though I'm leaving school for Christmas break and my computer at home is iffy at best, but here is the first part and please review, because if you review I will try even harder to get up the next chapter. The song is by Train. I'm currently on a Train kick. Aren't they just fantastic? Please, if you would be so kind, review for me? Thanks! : )

Disclaimer: Now really, do you really think that they belong to me? Right. Uh-huh. Nope, the characters are not mine. 

It was snowing as Chandler made his way to his door. His feet were wet, and he was cold, but he somehow wasn't too worried about it. More than anything, he didn't want to go inside the house. He would have stayed out in the cold for much longer if it meant that he didn't have to go inside his house. Coming from the warmth and laughter of his friends and their families, he just didn't have the energy to face his own wife. He sighed as he placed his hand on the knob and turned it to step inside. 

            "Where have you been?" It came as soon as he had stepped inside the door. That shrill voice that broke the silence and made him wince and want to turn and run. 

            "I was at Ross and Rachel's," he told her, although he knew that she knew where he had been. 

            "Yes, I know, but you were supposed to be home an hour ago," she placed her hands on her hips and glared at him.     

            "What do you want from me? I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. We started talking and we just stayed and reminisced for awhile. Is that a crime?" Why did he always feel like this now? Why did he always feel like he was letting her down? He never used to feel like this….when had this started? This always one step behind, too slow, always wrong feeling that came over him every time she was around? Where had that come from? 

            " You could have called," she said. "I had no idea that you were going to stay. I had no idea what time to expect you home again. I had no idea if you had gone somewhere else and whether or not I should have been worried about you!" Worried. Right. Because she always worried so much over him. 

            "Right. I should have called. I'm sorry." Those words just came so naturally out of his mouth. "I'm sorry." Instead of accepting his apology, she just sighed and turned around and walked back into the kitchen. 

            "Did she bring Hannah?" Hannah. His little girl.  She hated that he had a daughter that wasn't hers. She hated that he came with baggage. Of course he came with baggage, everyone came with baggage. Everyone had a past. It was just that she was reminded of his past every day by Hannah. 

He hadn't married Hannah's mother. Often times he felt himself regretting that he never married her. Often? Who was he kidding? He regretted that every damn day. But Hannah. Hannah was perfect. She was exactly like her mother, both in looks and personality, but she had his sense of humor. Even at four she was a riot, coming up with sentences that gave him a run for his money. And her mother, to his surprise, encouraged it. She said that she found it funny, but he wondered if there was a little part of her that wanted that reminder of him. After all, Hannah was a huge reminder of her, and he loved it. He loved that Hannah looked exactly like her mother. It made him feel as if maybe he hadn't lost everything when he lost her. 

No, he had lost everything. Tonight he could have gone back with Hannah and tucked her into bed and then sat up with wine glasses with her mother like they used to. Talking about everything and nothing and listening to Joni Mitchell and other mellow, slightly melancholy music. Instead he had come home, and come to a house that was filled with tension. Tension so thick that it would take a chainsaw to cut through it. Upon coming in the other day with Chandler, even Hannah had spoken up.

            "Did you get into a fight?" She asked. Yes, Chandler wanted to answer her. We're constantly in a fight. It is never-ending. 

            "No, sweetie. Why?" Hannah had just shrugged leaving Chandler to wonder on just how much she picked up on. 

            "Yes, they were there. Hannah learned a Christmas song in preschool that she sang for us," he grinned as he remembered it. "She said that she'll sing it for you next time she sees you." Hannah had no idea that her step-mother wasn't overly fond of her. It must be wonderful to be a kid, Chandler thought to himself. God, it had been hard to leave his daughter tonight. Maybe because it was Christmas. Maybe it was because he knew that he would have to go home to his wife. And he just didn't want to have to do that.

            He walked into the kitchen and saw the bags on the counter.

            "Did you have fun shopping?" He asked trying to lighten the mood and change the subject. 

            "I guess. Initials on everything are all the rage," she said stepping into the kitchen. "But the problem is that they're always out of M's. I mean, it would be great if my name started with an E because they had tons of E's, but no M's. But I got a cute little bag with an H on it for Hannah." She pulled it out of the bag with a flourish and he smiled and nodded. Her mother would never let her carry it around it. It was bright green. Hannah was dressed impeccably by her mother and Aunt Rachel. Bright green wasn't their thing. But he didn't say that, he just nodded and smiled.

            "She'll love it," he assured her lying through his teeth.

_Tried to write a letter_

_To tell you how I feel_

_But all I kept on writing_

_Is slipping on the tears_

_Of the day_

_When I was young and brave_

 He didn't get it. She had been friends with his friends. But she had stopped wanting to come to get-togethers with them. 

            "She'll be there." She didn't ever call Hannah's mother by her name, it was always, "she did this." Or "I can't believe she let Hannah do that." Chandler always tried to defend her as the mother of his child, but found that it only got him in trouble with his wife. So he gave up, quite simply and honestly. 

            "I'm going to go to bed," he said excusing himself and hurrying up the stairs to their bedroom. Ignoring him, she nodded and busied herself with unpacking all her purchases from that day. Climbing the stairs, he had to remind himself that he loved her. 

            It was a terrible thing when you have to remind yourself that you are in love with your wife. 

            It meant one thing.

            His marriage was dead. 

            The worst part of it was that he didn't feel as terrible as he should have. His marriage was over. He had to leave his wife. He had failed. He had been right. The Bings had terrible marriages. Maybe that was why he had never married Hannah's mother, he was too afraid that he would lose her. 

            Instead he gave her up.

            "You don't really want to get married," she had yelled at him.

            "Well, if you want to get married, we will," he had sighed exasperatedly at her. He was doing what she wanted. He told her that he would get married.

            "Are you marrying me because you want to? Or because I'm pregnant?" Did she want the truth? She didn't even wait for him to respond. 

            "That's what I thought."

            "That's not fair."

            "What's not fair?"

            "You didn't give me a chance to answer!"

            "Your silence was answer enough, Chandler. If you don't want to get married, we won't get married." And though he had sighed a sigh of relief, one land mine missed, he knew that things could never be the same again. And they weren't. They stayed together throughout her pregnancy and finally at Hannah's first birthday they both admitted to themselves that they were going about this all wrong. That they couldn't make it work. 

            That's when he turned to his wife, although she wasn't his wife then, and in a drunken state, slept with her. It was a mistake, but it was a mistake that turned into something more. And they were married. And he saw Hannah every chance that he could. 

            But it wasn't enough. And having his wife not really like having Hannah there with them made it that much more difficult.  

            It was like asking for him to choose between his daughter or his wife, and he hated to break it to her, but he would always choose Hannah. Always. 

            So now all he had to do was break it to her. 

            He wanted a divorce.

_Now all these hotel lobbies are filled_

_With what's to me_

_Lonely __midnight__ drivers_

_Drifting out to sea_

_And all those late night lovers _

_Don't make things better to me_

He left the next day. Packed up his bags and called up his best friend Joey and asked if he could stay with him for awhile. At least until he found a place of his own. That was the plan. It was to take it one day at a time. One step at a time.

He'd move out. 

Find a place of his own.

And then try to win his family back. Or he supposed, he never had them, so to win them in the first place. 

Yes, that was the plan. And it was a good plan, he though. 

His wife, no surprise, had not been too thrilled when he announced that he was leaving her.

"Where are you going to go?"

"Live with Joey for awhile."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because we don't work anymore." What an answer. And he could tell by her face it was one that she hadn't wanted to hear.

"We don't work anymore?" She screamed. Picking up a shoe, she tossed it at the door. "Go to hell Chandler." Sighing, he picked up his suitcase and left the apartment and her crying. She should have seen this coming. He was sure that she had, she was just in denial. After all, he had been in denial for quite some time before he came to his senses. He didn't want to be married anymore. Or at least not to her. 

His heart belonged to someone else. It always had. 

And he was going to win her back. 

_So let it roll into me_

_Let it roll into you_

_Let it roll into me_

_Let it roll into back into when I had you _

Okay, so I'm definitely going to have the next part up by Friday at the latest, but only if you review! So review people! All right, it's back to studying. This was a nice little breather. Ahh. Okay, now back to finals hell. Blah. 


	2. This when I notice most of all

Okay, this is the next chapter. I'm going to work really hard to get my computer at home to work so that I can get the next part up, but only if you review! Thanks!

Disclaimer: Right, so not mine. 

            It was a quiet ride home. Hannah was fast asleep in the backseat. Monica turned around briefly and smiled at the sight of her slumbering daughter (AN: Okay, you all definitely saw that one coming. Of course he's in love with Monica. It is me we're talking about here). She parked the car in the driveway and climbed out, and opened the backseat door and gathered Hannah in her arms. Shifting Hannah to one side, she managed to get out her key and stepped inside the quiet house. 

            He had gone home. To his wife. 

            She hated that he had married her. She wasn't supposed to be his wife; she was only supposed to be the rebound girl. 

            Mona. 

            She had even introduced the two. Mona worked in her restaurant, and Monica had originally intended for Mona to date Ross, but that relationship failed and after Monica and Chandler broke up, Mona set her sights on Chandler and won him. 

            It was getting harder and harder for Monica to remember why they had broken up. She loved him, he was a great father, and he understood her better than anyone else. So what then had caused them to break up? 

            It wasn't working. This was pretty much the typical bullshit answer that you give when you aren't really sure why you're breaking up, but just know that you have to do it to still save some of your sanity. But the thing that no one ever told them was that it was even worse to be apart. The only thing that had gotten Monica through was Hannah. She had to be strong for Hannah. She couldn't fall apart, because Hannah needed her. It was her reasoning for doing everything. 

            Flipping on the lights with her free hand, she carried Hannah up the stairs and laid her down in her bed. A huge four poster bed that Chandler had gotten her to make her feel like a princess. He always had that talent; he could make Monica feel like a princess too. Or at least, he had been able to. Now, she supposed, he made Mona feel that way. 

            Did he love her? 

            Did he whisper the things to Mona that he used to whisper to Monica? 

            No, she couldn't think like that, thinking like that only got her in trouble. Leaning down, she placed a gentle kiss on Hannah's cheek and praised herself for having the foresight to have Hannah change into pajamas before they left Ross and Rachel's. She shut the door to Hannah's room and went back downstairs and poured herself a glass of wine. Grabbing a book from the bookshelves, she curled up on the chair and relaxed. No thinking of Chandler, or what might have been. There was no use in thinking like that. None at all. It would do her no good. 

What was done was done. 

And that was all that there was to it. 

_So I'll watch the snow come falling_

_And I'll celebrate the spring_

_I'll feel the falls keep falling_

_And when the summers come_

_I will pretend that I don't notice_

_That this is when I notice most of all_

"Mommy, watch this! Watch what I can do!" Hannah tugged on Monica's sleeve, and Monica turned away from the cookies that she had been making to watch Hannah. 

"That's great, baby," she said smiling. "But you need to go to bed soon, so why don't you go upstairs and get your pj's on for me?" Hannah was on an independent kick, and Monica tried to pick easy tasks for her to complete. Seeing as she had already laid out Hannah's pajama's, Hannah could easily get dressed by herself. 

"Okay," Hannah smiled and ran out of the room and Monica heard her bounding up the stairs. Returning to the cookies, she was interrupted by a knock at the door. 

She wiped her hands on her apron and walked down the front hall. Pulling it open, she was shocked to see Chandler on the other side.

"Chandler?"

"Mon? Can we talk? I really need to talk to you. Is it possible for us to sit down and talk?"  He was rambling. He always rambled when he was nervous. 

"Sure, I guess," she held the door open wider for him and he came inside. It smelled like her. God, he loved that smell. She looked beautiful standing there in front of him, he just wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that he was sorry. He never meant to her hurt her, and he should have never, ever, let her go. 

Where did he start? 

Oh, by the way, I left my wife the other day. Christmas Eve. Moved back in with Joey. Wanted to see if there was a chance that you and I could be a you and I again? Right. That would work. 

"Daddy!" Hannah catapulted down the stairs and into Chandler's arms. 

"Hey, Han, how are you tonight?"

"Good, I put on my pajama's all by myself," she grinned proudly and neither Chandler nor Monica had the heart to point out to her that they were on inside out. 

"Good for you princess," Chandler told her. 

"Daddy, will you tuck me in tonight?" She asked looking at her mother to see if this was okay. Monica smiled at Hannah.

"I would love to," he assured her. "Come on, honey, give Mommy a kiss goodnight." Hannah leaned out of Chandler's arms and planted a wet kiss on Monica. 

"Goodnight Mommy."

"Goodnight sweet girl." She ran a hand through Hannah's hair.

"And then you and I can talk?" Chandler asked. Monica nodded and he smiled a little and carried Hannah up the stairs. 

When he came back down, she was standing exactly where he had left her, hugging her sweater to herself. Motioning for him to follow her, they walked back into the living room and sat on the couch.          

"What is that we need to talk about?" Monica asked.

"I'm in love with you." Whoa. That was not what she was expecting. She wasn't sure what exactly she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. 

"What?"

"I'm in love with you," he stated again. He decided that it was like ripping off a bandaid, it was better to just get it out there. And not worry about the consequences. 

_So let it roll into me_

_Let it roll into you_

_Let it roll into me_

_Let it roll back into when I had you_

Clearly by the look on her face, she was worried about the consequences.

"You what?"

"I love you."

"And that's supposed to make me go what? Oh, great, he loves me. That's wonderful. It doesn't work that way Chandler. You're married." Damn. There was that again. She had to keep repeating it to both herself and Chandler. He was married. He had a wife. Mona was his wife.

"Monica, I love you."  

"Shouldn't you be home with your wife?" Monica asked backing away from him. It felt so right, sounded so right, and it took everything she had to pull away from it. "Go home to your wife, Chandler." 

"I left her."  
            "For me?" This was certainly something that she hadn't seen coming. He left Mona. She felt….elated. And confused. He left Mona. Why? Why had he left Mona? Was it because suddenly after three years he remembered that he loved her? Or had loved her once? 

"It's always for you. And Hannah."

"Chandler."

"Monica, don't say anything like we didn't work before, or we tried this before…we didn't try, or at least we didn't try it hard enough. I love you. I've loved you forever. And I want you. I want you as my wife, forever. I never asked you to marry me, and it was because I was terrified. But I'm not terrified anymore. I love you. I want you to marry me. I want to live here with you and Hannah." His eyes implored her to answer in the positive and she bit her lip, a sure sign that she was thinking hard about this. 

"I'm not sure…."

"What?"

"How to answer that?"

"Say yes." It seemed very simple to him.

"I need to think it over." Of course she did, he was asking for way too much for her to give him an answer right then. 

"You're right. You need to think it over. Take your time. Take all the time that you need." He stood up and pulled on his coat. "I'll be at Joey's." Leaning in, he gave her a kiss on her cheek. Turning around to leave he got halfway to the front door, when he turned around and saw her behind him. 

"Just don't take too long, okay?" She smiled and nodded. He opened the door and went to step out into the snow, when he heard his name being called. 

"Chandler?"

"Yeah?"

"Turns out that I don't have to think about it. Turns out that I love you." Not being to help the grin that spread across his face, he turned back around. She ran down the front steps and into his arms. Kissing him, she smiled up at him. 

"You love me?"

"Of course I do. I never stopped." He grinned and held her tightly.

"Will you marry me?" That was when her grin faltered and she shook her head slightly.

"I can't." 

_And all you ever wanted for me_

_Was the time to understand_

_And all I ever wanted for you_

_Was to see me shining for you_

_And I wish that I could be back in the day that I could say_

_Let it roll _

_Let it roll into me_

_Let it roll_

_Let it roll into you_

_Let it roll back into when I had you_

Who didn't know that Monica was going to be the wife? Haha, of course it was. But oh no, she turned down his marriage proposal? Review please! Like I said, I'm going to get the next part up as soon as I can. 


	3. So let it roll

Okay, so guess what? I'm a genius and figured out what was wrong with my computer at home....well, actually I simply figured out how to make it work for a little while, but that's enough! So here, friends is the next part. Please review and tell me what you thought! Thanks.  
  
Disclaimer: Um, right. Am I supposed to tell you that the characters aren't mine? They aren't mine. There. Are you happy now?  
  
"I can't." Those words rang through Chandler's head.   
  
"You can't?" He repeated, and glanced at her. "What do you mean that you can't?" That had not been the response that he had been expecting or hoping for. He had been hoping for a yes, or an of course. Not a I can't. I can't was definitely wrong.  
  
"Chandler," she began. It was cold, and the snow was flying all around. "Can we go inside to talk about this?"  
  
"Talk about what? I love you, and you love me. We have a daughter together and we should get married." In his mind there was nothing to think about. Those were the facts and everything added up to the conclusion that they should get married. That they should be together forever.   
  
"How about the fact that you're still married? How about the fact that it's way too soon. How about the fact that we can't just think about ourselves, we have to think about Hannah. I do love you, I do, I always have, but that doesn't mean that we can work or that we should get married," she started to explain herself. "But can we please go inside and talk about this?"  
  
"I don't want to go inside and talk about this," he said. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "You're the only one who wants to talk, and as far as I can tell, you can do that alone."   
  
"You're an asshole," she said beginning to cry. "Why did you come here tonight? Was it just to be a total asshole?"   
  
"I came here tonight to win you back! I came here tonight to tell you that I love you and want to marry you. I came here tonight with the impression that you loved me too."  
  
"I did. I do!"  
  
"Then what is it Monica? What is it about me that's not good enough?"  
  
"I never said that you weren't good enough," she cried. "This is why I can't marry you. You claim to have grown up, but you're acting like you always did. You want to marry me now, but what happens in two weeks when you realize that you just left your wife and you're moving way too fast? What happens to me and Hannah then? Do we get tossed to the side? I can't let that happen to her. I can't let that happen to myself." Sobbing into her hands, he realized that she was shaking. Partly from the tears that were flowing, and partly because of the frigid temperatures.   
  
"Monica," he started. God, she was right. He was such an asshole. Who could blame her for not wanting to marry him. She deserved so much better. Both her and Hannah deserved so much better.   
  
"Go," she whispered. "Just...I can't be by you right now. Please....just go." He had really screwed up this time. Why did he always do that? He always opened his mouth before thinking. Now he ruined everything. Again.  
  
Again, he had ruined everything.  
  
"Monica, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I'm so sorry. I just...I just love you. And I didn't come here tonight to make you cry, that was the farthest thing from my mind. I came here tonight because I want you. No one else, but you, for the rest of my life." Taking her hand, he smiled at her. "Take your time. Take your time on everything. Whether or not you want to date me, let alone marry me. Think about what you want. Think about what Hannah needs. Then get back to me." Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on her cheek. Nodding, she turned around and wiped the tears that were streaming down her face and made her way back into the house. She didn't turn around to see him drive away, so she had no idea that he sat there in his car crying for an hour before he could finally drive away.   
  
She woke up the next morning with Hannah bouncing on her bed.   
  
"Wake up! Wake up now!" Hannah said climbing over her sleeping mother until her face was centimeters from Monica's. "Are you up yet?"  
  
"Nope." Hannah giggled.   
  
"Liar." Monica finally opened her eyes and grinned at her daughter.   
  
"Morning sweetheart," she said sitting up.   
  
"Morning Mommy," Hannah said scrambling over the bed. "Can you make me chocolate chip pancakes? Is Daddy here? Why was he here last night? Did he stay the night? Can he stay the night? Can we have a sleepover with Daddy?"  
  
"Geez, you certainly ask a lot of questions," Monica said trying to change the subject. How was she supposed to answer those questions? "Yes you can have pancakes. We'll see about the chocolate chips. No, Daddy is not here. He came over last night to tuck you in. And you have sleepovers at Daddy's house."  
  
"But Mona is there," Hannah bit her lip. "I don't think she likes me." Monica knew that she hated Mona. This just gave her more reason to.  
  
"No, baby, she doesn't hate you. How could anyone possibly hate you?" Monica threw on her robe and picked Hannah up. "Let's go see about those pancakes okay?" Hannah nodded and threw her arms around Monica's neck.   
  
This was good. This was keeping her mind off of Chandler and the night before. What had happened? She wasn't entirely sure. It all happened so fast. He came in, told her he loved her, told her he wanted to marry her, and then turned into a jerk. She told him that she couldn't marry him. Of course she couldn't marry him. She had Hannah to think about. That was a big step, marriage. And it wasn't something that they should be deciding on the spur of the moment. He was still married, for God's sake! What was he thinking?  
  
The problem was that she knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and she was thinking the same thing.   
  
But no. They couldn't. Not this fast. They couldn't possibly. That would be ridiculous. What would everyone say?   
  
And Hannah. It always came back to Hannah. But she would love to have Chandler there with them. But if it didn't work out, if for some reason they didn't work out....then she would be so upset. Monica didn't know if it was worth it to set themselves up for what could be a huge disappointment.   
  
But if she didn't try then it would always be there hanging over her. She could of made it work. They could have made it work. Why had she been such a chicken shit?   
  
"I messed up Joe," Chandler said as the two were sitting in Central Perk drinking coffee the next morning. "I messed up big time. She said that she couldn't marry me, and I flipped out prematurely. I just love her. That's all that there is to it. And I couldn't see why she couldn't see it from my point of view. I didn't think about anything else, but she thought about everything else. Obviously, she had a point, and we should take it slowly, but she caught me so off guard, we were kissing and she said that she loved me, and then she told me that she couldn't marry me." He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.   
  
"Did you tell her any of this?" Joey asked. He had tried, he had tried to tell her this....right, no, he hadn't. He hadn't explained at all, he had just acted like a complete and total jerk.  
  
"Well, no."   
  
"Then go tell her." It seemed super simple to Joey. All Chandler had to do was go explain his point of view. She would see.   
  
"It's not that easy," Chandler said.  
  
"Sure it is. Why isn't it that easy? You know why? Because you are making it difficult. It isn't nearly as difficult as you are making it seem. Get up, go over there, and tell her exactly what you said to me."   
  
"But..."  
  
"Chandler, don't make me pull out the middle name," Joey stated waving a finger in Chandler's direction.  
  
"Joey, it's a novel idea. It really is, but she doesn't want to see me, I'm sure."   
  
"How do you know that?" A voice from behind interrupted his and Joey's conversation. Both men turned around to see Monica standing behind them holding Hannah's gloved hand in hers.   
  
~Ha, ha! The computer works, brilliant! Please review and tell me what you think and I'll get up the next part. That is if you're not totally bored by it. So please, kindly, if you would, leave me a little note and say, gee, this is really ____. You can fill in the answer there. Thanks! 


	4. When I was young and brave

Hey thanks for the reviews! I loved them! Anyway, here is the next part, please review again and tell me what you think. Thanks!   
  
Disclaimer: Oh right, so that's not the Friends Characters sitting under my tree....that must mean, that I don't own them.   
  
Chandler's mouth dropped open. Monica was there. Standing there.   
  
Waiting for him to say something. Anything.   
  
"Um..." Okay, not the best start. But it was a start at least. How did he know that she wouldn't want to see him? Well, obviously he had been wrong, because there she was, standing in front of him. "I just thought that you would still be angry with me." Hannah watched her parents with a curious expression on her face.  
  
"Why is Mommy angry with you?" She asked her father.  
  
"Hey, Han? Why don't you and I go get a cookie and take it upstairs to see Aunt Rachel and let your mom and dad talk?" Hannah nodded and transferred her hand from her mother's to her Uncle Joey's.   
  
"Can I sit?" Monica asked when Joey led her away. Chandler nodded and she traveled around the couch and took a seat.   
  
"Are you still mad at me?" He asked.  
  
"I was never mad at you," she said clarifying. "Well, okay, yeah, I was a little, I mean, you were acting completely insane. First you want to marry me, and then you storm off." He cringed.  
  
"I know. I'm an idiot. Have I told you that?"  
  
"I caught on," she said smiling slightly. "But Chandler, it wasn't that I didn't want to marry you. It wasn't that at all."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I heard what you said. To Joey, I mean. I heard what you said to Joey."  
  
"You heard all that?" Nodding, she bit her lip.   
  
"Chandler, can we talk? As sane adults this time?" He laughed a little and nodded.   
  
"Yes, we can talk as sane adults this time." Grinning, she ordered herself a coffee.  
  
"We could be here a long time," she said shrugging as Gunther went to get her a latte.   
  
"Let's start all over," he suggested. "Mon, I left Mona."  
  
"You what?" She grinned feigning shock.   
  
"I left Mona."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I may be still in love with you, in which case, I think we should take our time and date and see what happens before we make any rash decisions like getting married," he grinned at her and finding his grins contagious, she grinned back at him.  
  
"That sounds like a wonderful plan," she told him nodding seriously. "And Chandler, I may be in love with you too. I just thought that you should know that. In fact, there is no may about it. I do love you. I always have."  
  
"But?" He waited for it, but she shook her head gently.  
  
"No buts, I just wanted you to know that."   
  
"Okay, how about we go on a date? Take it slowly, see what happens?"  
  
"I think that is a great idea," she said. "Thursday?"  
  
"Okay. Thursday it is. I'll pick you up at 7?"  
  
"Sounds good, I should go get Hannah. I promised that while we were in town, I would take her to the toy store."  
  
"How about I take her?" Chandler suggested. "I want to see her."  
  
"That's fine," Monica said. "Just drop her off later."  
  
"Mon?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Why don't you come with us?"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Positive."   
  
"Okay, let's go get her." Chandler nodded and he got up and reached down to help Monica to her feet.   
  
"Let's go get her," he repeated. He noticed that she hadn't let go of his hand yet, and he didn't intend to make her. Instead, they walked hand in hand up the stairs to Rachel's apartment to get Hannah.   
  
"Guess what?" Hannah bounced in her father's arms as they made their way through the toy store.  
  
"What?" Chandler asked.  
  
"I like this," Hannah said looking at both her parents. "Can we do this more often?"  
  
"Go out and buy you things?" Monica asked laughing.  
  
"No, silly, go out together. You and me, and Daddy." Chandler and Monica exchanged a look, but Hannah ignored it as she pointed to the large display of stuffed elephants. Squirming to get down, Chandler set her firmly on the ground and Monica took a hold of her hand before she ran off.   
  
"Hannah, you have to wait for us," she reminded her daughter.   
  
"But, Mommy," Hannah whined pulling Monica towards the stuffed animals. "You're so slow!" Finally, she let go and Hannah ran towards the display.  
  
"She looks like she's having fun," Chandler spoke up.  
  
"That's because we're going to buy her something. I get excited when someone is going to buy me something too," Monica told him laughing.  
  
"Can I get one of these?" Hannah asked holding up the stuffed elephant.  
  
"Is that what you really want?"  
  
"Yes, it's what I really, really, really want," Hannah said hugging it close to her.   
  
"At least it's what she wants until we find something else that she wants more," Chandler joked, but then he stopped short of laughing. Wasn't that what he had done? Monica had been what he wanted until he met Mona, and Mona had been what he wanted until he realized he had been an idiot who hadn't known what he wanted back then. Then he figured out exactly what he wanted. He wanted to reassure her that he would never want anything more than he wanted her. He could promise her that. Never. He wanted her for the rest of his life.   
  
"That is true," Monica said. Chandler reached over, and took hold of her hand, and to his surprise, she didn't pull it away. He looked at her and their eyes met.  
  
"Do you know what I really, really, really want?" He asked.   
  
"I have a good idea," she said smiling. Hannah came running back to them.  
  
"Can I get a Barbie?" She asked bouncing up and down. Chandler nodded and she handed Monica the elephant.   
  
"What's the use of having separated parents if you can't benefit from it?" He grinned at Monica. "You get her the elephant and I'll get the Barbie. Although, hopefully she won't benefit from it much longer." It was a strong hint and Monica caught it and just shook her head.  
  
"Then she should live it up while she has the opportunity," she said softly, giving his hand a quick squeeze before letting go and finding Hannah again so that they could leave.   
  
"You look so beautiful," Hannah said smiling. "Like a princess." Nodding seriously, Hannah rolled over and stood up on Monica's bed. "Do you think Aunt Rachel will make cookies with me?" She smiled hopefully at Monica, who just laughed.   
  
"Not the kind I make honey, maybe the cookies out of the box," Monica replied placing the pearl earrings in her ears. The door opened and Rachel's voice called up the stairs.   
  
"We're up here!" Hannah called and they heard Rachel's footsteps up the stairs. She appeared in the doorway of the room and smiled at Monica and Hannah.  
  
"Oh Mon," she breathed. "You look perfect." Monica blushed and looked again in the mirror.  
  
"You think so?" She ran a hand over the fabric as the doorbell rang.  
  
"I'll get it!" Hannah leapt from the bed and hurried down the hall and down the stairs. Rachel reached over and grabbed Monica's hand and gave it a quick squeeze before following Hannah down.   
  
"This is it," Monica said to herself before grabbing her purse and making her way downstairs to where Chandler stood in the hall looking as nervous as a boy picking up a girl for his first date.   
  
"You look...."he struggled for the appropriate adjective when Hannah offered her opinion.   
  
"A princess!" She grinned delighted.   
  
"That's it exactly," he told her and then took Monica's arm.  
  
"Be good for Aunt Rachel," Monica told Hannah who gave her a salute.  
  
"Be good for Daddy," Hannah offered. Rachel laughed and Monica blushed as her and Chandler hurried out the front door.   
  
"This is nice," Monica said sipping her wine.  
  
"This is very nice," Chandler replied. She was so beautiful. He still had trouble remembering that she had once, and could again, belong to him. It was unbelievable. Monica. Who he had dreamed about for years. He reached over the table and took hold of Monica's hand, when a voice broke through his thoughts.   
  
"It certainly didn't take you long to move on," the voice told him. And then bitterly it added. "And with her of all people." And Chandler turned his head to see the one person that he really hadn't hoped he would see.  
  
Mona.   
  
~Did you think that Mona was just going to disappear that easily? Nope! Okay, please could you review for me? Oh, and a happy holidays to everyone! Consider reviewing your present to me!~ 


	5. And all these late night lovers

I hope that everyone had a fantastic holiday. My Christmas was so great! I got the 4th and 5th seasons on DVD! Yay! Guess what has been on my television consecutively since Christmas? Haha, you would think I would get tired of them. Nope! I hope everyone has a super great New Year's. Thanks so much for the reviews, they were awesome. Here is the next part, please review again if you would be so kind. Thanks!   
  
Disclaimer: So not mine.   
  
"Mona....uh....hi..." Chandler stuttered looking up at his soon to be ex-wife who stood glaring at him and Monica, who was sitting very still as if she could fade into the background and become invisible if she didn't move. Standing behind Mona were some of her friends, one who tried to pull on her arm and move her away from the table. But Mona stayed put, shooting dangerous looks at Chandler and Monica.   
  
"Chandler. Monica," Mona hissed. "How are you today?" Chandler felt his face become hot and glanced around to see that some of the other tables had turned in their direction.  
  
"Mona, don't make a scene," Chandler begged. Mona waved her hand ignoring him.  
  
"Don't make a scene? Don't make a scene?" Her voice rose and Monica finally looked down at her napkin finding it very interesting. All she wanted to do was go home and get in bed, and pretend that Mona didn't exist.   
  
"Mona, why don't we go outside and talk?" Chandler asked in a low voice. "Don't do this."  
  
"Do what? What am I doing?" Mona asked glancing around wildly. Chandler didn't dare glance at Monica. Mona was ruining their dinner. She was ruining their first date. Now Monica would really be wary of starting a relationship with Chandler again.   
  
"Chandler," this time it was Monica who spoke up, glancing up at Chandler who was desperately trying to get Mona to step outside with him. Chandler turned around to give his attention. "Why don't we leave?" Chandler smiled at her gratefully. Gathering her purse, she stood up and Chandler helped her with her coat, lying down some money on the table to cover their drinks.   
  
"Where are you going?" Mona asked as they made their way out of the restaurant. "We were just having fun!" She followed the couple out of the restaurant. "Monica, sleeping with a married man, I always knew you were a whore." Monica stopped momentarily and closed her eyes trying to compose herself. Placing a calming hand on Chandler's arm, she shook her head.  
  
"Don't," she warned. "That's what she wants."  
  
"Whore!" Mona repeated grinning wildly seeing the reaction she was getting from Chandler. Monica felt hot tears spring to her eyes, but she continued her plea to Chandler to get him to continue walking with her.  
  
"It's not worth it," she told him. "She's not worth it. Please. Can we just go?" Chandler gave Monica a soft kiss and walked over to Mona.   
  
"Go back inside, Mona," he said softly. "You and I both know that we couldn't stay together. We weren't happy. You weren't happy either. I know you weren't. Monica is not a whore, and for the record, we are not sleeping together. Just go back into the restaurant and meet your friends, and leave us alone. Leave Monica alone. She did nothing to you." With that, he turned back around and took Monica's hand and led her away from Mona.   
  
"I never loved you!" Mona yelled after him. "I never loved you!" Chandler leaned over and placed a kiss in Monica's hair.  
  
"I love you," he whispered. "And I'm so sorry." Not speaking, Monica grasped his hand and squeezed tightly. And slowly, and silently, they walked away from Mona.   
  
"Hey," Rachel looked up when the two walked in. "How was dinner?" Monica didn't answer, she just hung up her coat and announced that she was going to check on Hannah. Rachel's grin faltered at her friend's reaction and turned her attention back to Chandler. "That good huh?"  
  
"Mona showed up. Sort of put a damper on dinner," he told her sighing. "We went and got pizza, but um, she's still a little upset. Mona hit a little below the belt." Rachel winced and wanted to know what exactly had gone on, but sensed that neither Chandler nor Monica was in a talking kind of mood. At least, not with her.   
  
"I'm going to go," Rachel said pulling on her coat. "If you guys need something, call."   
  
"Thanks Rach," Monica said coming out of Hannah's room and shutting the door quietly behind her. Giving Monica a sympathetic smile, Rachel slipped out of the apartment.   
  
"She's okay?" He asked gesturing to the closed door of Hannah's room.  
  
"She's fast asleep," Monica reported nodding. In her mind she could still hear Mona's voice.   
  
Whore.   
  
Sleeping with a married man.  
  
Whore.  
  
It was partly true, she hated to admit it. Chandler was technically married. And while they hadn't slept together yet, it was just a matter of time. Should they wait then? Should she wait to even date him until they were officially divorced? She didn't know if she could wait, she knew that she didn't want to. And she was sure that he didn't want to wait either.   
  
"Penny for your thoughts?" Chandler asked softly.   
  
"I was just....."  
  
"Thinking about Mona?" Chandler supplied for her.  
  
"Yeah, I was. She's right. You are still married to her. You haven't even been separated for more than a week Chandler....this is crazy....we shouldn't be dating yet!"  
  
"Mon," he started.  
  
"Don't do that! Don't Mon me! I'm serious Chandler. I need...."  
  
"You need what?"  
  
"I need time. I think." She bit her lip and looked at him.   
  
"Take whatever time you need," he told her. "I'll be waiting still."  
  
"I don't want to wait.....but...."  
  
"There's always that but," he commented wryly.  
  
"I think we should." Moving closer to Monica, he took her hand.  
  
"I think you think about things far more than you ought to." Giggling slightly, she nodded.  
  
"But what about Mona?"  
  
"I'll deal with Mona."   
  
"And..."  
  
"The divorce?" She nodded.  
  
"I'll file first thing tomorrow morning."  
  
"Chandler?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I do love you."  
  
"I know you do." Smiling, he gave her a soft kiss. Holding her closely, he knew right then that this was where he should have been all along. How stupid he was. How immature and ridiculous to think that he should be with anyone but Monica. She was everything.   
  
"I can't believe you're mine again," he whispered.   
  
"Chandler?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Would it be presumptuous if I asked you if you wanted to stay tonight? " Presumptuous? Was she kidding? That was exactly what he wanted to do, but was terrified that he was pushing too hard, too fast.   
  
"I think it can be arranged," he told her laughing. Scooping her up in his arms, he led the way to their old bedroom. Gently, he set her on the bed and closed the door behind them.   
  
No, it wasn't presumptuous at all.   
  
"Daddy?" Hannah asked the next morning as she came out of her bedroom rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing here so early?" Chandler smiled at Hannah.  
  
"Morning Han," he said as she made her way over to him. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on her forehead avoiding the answer to her question.   
  
"Hungry Hannah banana?" Monica asked turning from the stove where she had been making breakfast. Hannah forgot to ask her father again and rubbed her stomach.  
  
"Starved, Mommy," she told her. Monica laughed and placed a plate in front of Hannah.   
  
"I've got to go," Chandler announced when they were done eating breakfast. "I have stuff to do." He shared a look with Monica, before giving both his daughter and Monica a kiss. The second one being watched gleefully by Hannah.   
  
"I knew it!" She exclaimed when Chandler left.   
  
"What?" Monica asked pretending to have no idea what her daughter was talking about. The four-year-old giggled and threw her head back.  
  
"Aunt Rachel said that it might not happen, but I knew it would. I just knew it!" Hannah laughed and jumped up off of her chair and over to Monica's.   
  
"What are you talking about you silly little girl?"  
  
"You and Daddy! I knew that you still loved him, and he still loved you. Can we move into a house? Can I have a little brother?"  
  
"I don't know about the little brother Hannah," Monica replied laughing.   
  
"How about a puppy then?"  
  
"We'll see," Monica replied. "Honey, we're not married yet, and we may not get married. We have to work things out first. And Daddy is still married to Mona."  
  
"Big stupid Mona. She's always ruining everything," Hannah moped. And Monica was in awe of her child who caught on to a lot more than they all gave her credit for. Monica just shook her head. Hannah was right.  
  
Big stupid Mona.   
  
Chandler waited in front of the courthouse for Mona. He had asked her to do this civilly. He had asked her to be okay with the divorce and try to make it as easy as she could.   
  
"Chandler," he heard Mona call his name icily.  
  
"Thank you for coming," he said turning around.   
  
"I just came to tell you one thing."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I can't give you the divorce." Chandler shook his head. Why had he ever thought that she could be capable of acting like a nice, decent human being? Hadn't their marriage teach him nothing? Of course Mona would be as much of a pain in the ass about this as she could.  
  
"Why not?" He asked wearily. Mona grinned wickedly at him, a mischievous look playing in her eyes. With a relish she said two words that stopped his heart and made his legs go weak.  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
~Again, I hope everyone has a great New Years, and please review. Please, oh please! I'm going to get the next chapter up by Friday at the latest, I promise. But only if you guys review....at least 10! I mean it people! Just tell me what you think, or if you love omelets ( for which I have a huge craving for right now). Anyway, review please!~ 


	6. Don't make things better

~ Hello! I hope everyone had a great New Year's! I had a wonderful New Year's, and I got the omelet I had been craving! Yay! Please review and tell me what you think and if you want me to continue. Thanks!~  
  
Disclaimer: In the words of Joey, the fact that I don't own the characters is a moo point. I'll return them when I'm done, I promise.   
  
Chandler felt the blood rush to his head and only thought repeated again and again in his head.   
  
Monica.  
  
What would he tell her? She was going to be heartbroken. Things had been going so great, and now this? No. It wasn't possible. Mona couldn't be pregnant.  
  
"You're what?" Finding his voice finally, Chandler choked out the question.   
  
"I'm pregnant. And so I can't give you this divorce." Grinning, it looked like Mona had won. This was her checkmate. Chandler wouldn't leave her now, he just wouldn't. And Monica, poor Monica would lose again. Mona felt triumphant. And the fact that she really wasn't pregnant wasn't important. In her mind it was just a small, insignificant detail. He would move back in with her and eventually one of two things would have to happen:  
  
She would get pregnant for real, or he would figure out that he was in love with her and not Monica.   
  
"Oh God," he muttered. That was not exactly the reaction Mona had been hoping for. Of course, she knew that he was "in love" or so he said with Monica, but she had figured he would be at least slightly happy about becoming a father again.   
  
"Chandler, let's go home, okay?" Mona said smiling at him and taking his arm. "Let's forget about this past week. Let's forget about Monica."  
  
"Monica," he moaned the name sending a shock of guilt down his spine.   
  
"She doesn't exist," Mona told him. "She's nothing. She's no one." And in Mona's mind, this was how it was, or at least, how it should be.   
  
"No," wrenching his arm away from Mona. "I have to go talk to her. I have to....I have to figure things out."  
  
"What's there to figure out?" Mona demanded. No, no, no, Monica was not going to ruin this. This plan was perfect. This plan had no faults. Not a single one. And especially not one that went by the name of Monica. Mona had thought everything through, and in every single one of her scenarios, Chandler never went back to Monica. He couldn't. He wouldn't.   
  
"I have to go clear my head," he told her. "Um....go home, and rest, and I'll come by later." Sighing, he turned around and headed back towards his car.   
  
"Chandler!" Mona yelled after him. "Get back here! Right now! Chandler!"   
  
Well, that was just super.   
  
Maybe her perfect plan wasn't so perfect after all.   
  
Monica would be devastated. Chandler knew that this was just going to break her heart. And once again, he would be the reason behind it. What did he do now?   
  
He loved Monica.  
  
But Mona was going to have a baby.   
  
How was he possibly going to decide what to do? Stepping out of the car in front of Monica's house, his head spun and he had to stop half way and close his eyes. Finally, he reached the door to house and raised his hand to knock. Monica pulled the door open and her eyes lit up. Leaning forward, she placed a kiss on his mouth.  
  
"How did it go?" She asked shutting the door behind him as he stepped in.  
  
"Um..." His mouth went dry. He was about to break her heart. How did he do that? How could he do this to her? This wasn't right. It just wasn't fair. She didn't deserve this. Any of it.   
  
"What's wrong?" She asked.  
  
"Mon, maybe you should uh, sit down." Shaking her head, she took his hand.  
  
"What happened?" She asked softly.  
  
"Mona's pregnant." There. It was out. He had told her. Her face went pale and she looked behind her blindly trying to find somewhere to sit. Finding nothing, she sunk to the floor instead.   
  
"She's...." Monica's hand went up to her mouth as Chandler helped her to her feet.   
  
"Monica," he started. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do." Monica looked at him and shook her head.  
  
"What do you mean? You have to go back to her. She's pregnant Chandler."  
  
"I know, but I love you."  
  
"But...she's....Oh God....I can't....oh...Hannah is going to.....oh...." Monica was finding it hard to form full sentences in her head. Everything was happening at once, her head was pounding. Mona was pregnant. The right thing for Monica to do would be to step aside. She should step aside and try to let Chandler see if he could make it work for their baby's sake.   
  
"Mon, I just can't turn around and walk away from you." It was the truth. He knew that he should go be there for Mona, but he couldn't. He just couldn't make himself walk away from her.   
  
"You know what Chandler? Let me make this a little easier for you," Monica said. Taking her hand away from his, she walked away and did the hardest thing she had ever done before.  
  
She opened the door for him to leave.   
  
"Monica...."  
  
"Don't....I don't think.....I have to do this....and you have to leave."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You have to." After carefully avoiding his eyes, she finally met them and he noticed the tears that were threatening to fall.  
  
"Monica...."  
  
"Chandler, there's nothing to say. There's nothing more we can do. Mona's pregnant. You should be with her and be a family. The baby deserves for it's parent's to at least try to make a family work. "  
  
"Hannah deserves a family too," he pointed out softly.  
  
"We did try. And it didn't work. Maybe this is a sign, maybe this is saving us from a lot more heartache." Even as the words were coming out of her mouth she knew that it was wrong. There could be nothing that hurt more than it hurt right then. She felt as if she had been punched in the gut. But she had to do this. It was the right thing to do. Despite the fact that it would leave her, Chandler, and not to mention Hannah, heartbroken.   
  
Nodding, Chandler came up to her once more and held her tightly in his arms.   
  
"I love you," he whispered into her ear. "More than anything or anyone."  
  
"I know," she said beginning to sob into his chest. "And that's what make this so hard." Reluctantly, she pulled herself away and refused to look back up at him as he walked out.   
  
And as soon as the door was shut behind him, she collapsed on the floor in a fit of tears. Which was where Rachel and Phoebe found her when they walked in with Hannah. Phoebe took Hannah upstairs into her own bedroom while Rachel picked her best friend up from the floor and led her to the couch.  
  
"What happened honey?" Rachel asked, and when Monica couldn't control her tears, couldn't calm herself down even a little, Rachel didn't ask anything else, instead just held her and tried to calm her down. "Whatever it is, it's going to be okay. I promise. Everything will be just fine." Monica appreciated the words, but she knew that Rachel was completely wrong.   
  
It could never be fine.   
  
Chandler walked into his old house and found Mona sitting reading a book and sipping a glass of wine.   
  
"You can't drink that!" He exclaimed. Sheepishly, Mona looked down at her glass and placed it on the coffee table.  
  
"You're right," she said smiling up at him. Climbing to her feet, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. "I'm so glad that you're home. For good now. And there's nothing that can pull us apart." And more importantly, Mona thought to herself, no one.   
  
"Mona," Chandler said pulling back from her. "I can't do this. I can't. I love Monica. I love her. And I can't be without her. And I'll be there for this baby, I promise. I promise that I will be there for everything, but I can't be with you. And this is better, because if we stayed together than I would resent you, and I would be so unhappy, and that can't be healthy for a child. And you have to understand this, you have to see that we don't work. We never did, if we're being honest." He didn't add the last part. That she was a rebound girlfriend who moved in and made herself comfortable. He had never intended her to be anything more than that.   
  
Mona's mouth dropped and she was left speechless. No, no, no, he wouldn't do that. He couldn't. No.   
  
"No." This one was said aloud. "You can't leave. You can't leave me. You can't leave me all alone."  
  
"You won't be alone," Chandler told her softly. "I'll always be here for you and the baby."  
  
"There is no Goddamned baby!" Mona yelled.   
  
"What?" Covering her mouth with her hand, Mona stepped back.  
  
"I meant...." Her eyes wide, she searched for an excuse.  
  
"You're not pregnant?" Chandler asked.   
  
"Chandler, I just...you can't leave. I love you, I love you more than she could ever love you. I love you so much. You can't do this to me."  
  
"You lied?"  
  
"I did it for you. For us." Mona reached out and grabbed his arm.   
  
"You can't toy with people like that Mona! You can't play with people's emotions!"  
  
"Chandler, please. I'm sorry, I just couldn't imagine life without you! Please...don't go! Please don't do this!"   
  
"Did you think of anyone else but yourself? Did you? Did you think that I wouldn't figure it out? Did you think I wouldn't notice that you weren't getting bigger?" Wiping the tears from her face, Mona just shrugged.  
  
"Chandler...."  
  
"God Mona!" He closed his eyes, but all he could see was Monica's face when he walked out the door. "You need to get help. You need to talk to a therapist or something. You need to...." Running a hand through his hair, he turned back around to face her. "Mona, can't you see that we were never happy? You deserve to be with someone that makes you happy. You deserve to be with someone who loves you back. Not just someone who you tricked into staying with you." Shaking her head, she looked up at him.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said. "I just...panicked. I can't be alone. I don't want to be alone."  
  
"And so it didn't matter who you hurt along the way as long as you got what you wanted?" Not waiting for her to answer, he pulled his coat back on and turned around to face her.   
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I have to go see Monica. I have to beg her to take me back. I hurt her again. I left her again." Finally, Mona understood. Her plan had been useless from the start. He could never love her. Not like he loved Monica.   
  
"Chandler, for what it's worth, I am really sorry."   
  
He wasn't ready to forgive her. But he nodded anyway, and walked out the door to find Monica again.   
  
~ Okay, there will be one more chapter, I think. So if you would be so kind and please review. Will Monica understand? He he, if you review you'll find out! ~ 


	7. I celebrate the spring

Thanks for the reviews, they were awesome. I've decided maybe I will have one more chapter after this. But you need to review and tell me what you think. Thanks!

Disclaimer: Not mine. Hmm. I wonder if I could say that in another language…. Nope, so English will have to do. Not mine. 

            Pulling up outside of Monica's house, he glanced in the empty windows. He took a deep breath and got out and walked to the front door and knocked. Surprised would not even begin to describe the look on Monica's face when she opened it.

            "Chandler? What are you doing here?"

            "Can we talk? I need to talk. Let's talk?" He was babbling, something Monica had always pointed out he did when he was nervous. Boy was he nervous now. 

            "Sure come in," she held the door open and let him pass. 

            "Let's sit. Do you want to sit? Can we sit? Let's sit." She had to laugh a little, and nodded and they took a seat in the kitchen. He noticed that it was silent. "Where's Hannah?"

            "Rachel took her home with her so that I could have some alone time." 

            "I'm sorry," he finally noticed that her eyes were brimmed red with tears. She looked exhausted and sad. All cried out. 

            "It's okay…no, it's not really. But it'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about me."

            "I do though. But Monica, listen to me. When I got over to Mona's I realized that I can't do this. I can't live with her. I can't be with her. I love you. I love you and I love Hannah and I want to be with you and Hannah."

            "But what about the baby?" Monica interrupted and Chandler held up his hand. 

            "Let me finish. I told Mona that I couldn't be with her. I told her that it would be far better for everyone, including the baby if I was with you. Living in a house full of tension isn't healthy." Monica's heart began to quicken. Did this mean that he was coming back? Did this mean that he was hers?

            "What did she say?" Monica asked softly.

            "She admitted to me that she isn't really pregnant." There. He said it. Monica's mouth dropped open and she stared at him.

            "She's not what?"

            "She's not pregnant. She never was." 

            "She told you that?"

            "She accidentally let it slip. But Monica, this means that you and I can be together. No strings attached. No guilt. Nothing." Taking a deep breath he waited for her reaction. After a moment or two of her saying nothing, she finally looked up into his eyes.

            "Chandler…."

            "What?"

            "I…."

            "What?" His heart began to sink. No. He had put her through too much. He knew it. He knew that it was too much to ask. She had been wary of doing it again to begin with. Now with all of this. No. She would say no. She would tell him that it was better this way. If that was the case, he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear those words come out of her mouth. 

            "Monica. It doesn't matter what you think, I love you." Her face broke into a smile.

            "I know. I love you too, and that's why we should be together." She giggled a little. "What did you think I was going to say?" He just shook his head and laughed.

            "So that means yes to trying us again?"

            "That means yes," she nodded and leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you." 

            "I love you too. I can't say those words enough."

            "I can't hear them enough." Kissing her again, he took her hand.

            "Hey, we're all alone, right?"

            "Right…."

            "When is Rachel bringing Hannah back?"

            "She said that she would keep her tonight."            

            "So we have the whole house to ourselves? Is that what you're telling me?"

            "Yes, so?"

            "You really don't know where I'm going with this?" Monica's eyes lit up and she grinned.

            "Oh."

            "Oh," he repeated and stood up and swept her into her arms. He carried her upstairs and both forgot all about Mona, and what had happened earlier that day.  That hadn't happened. It was a small hiccup in the grand scheme of things. It would be forgotten. Mona would be forgotten. 

            "I filed for divorce," he told her as they lay in bed with his arms around her. "Right after I talked to Mona, we went down to the courthouse and filed." She turned to look up at him.

            "Really?"

            "Really, the ball is in motion." Laughing, she shifted her position and curled up against him.

            "I've never been happier to hear that." Leaning down, he placed a kiss on her forehead.

            "I was thinking…."

            "Oh no, watch out," Monica teased.

            "Hey! I make the sarcastic remark, that's my territory," he retorted. She just laughed. "Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was thinking that maybe we could take Hannah to the park tomorrow. Spend some quality family time together."

            Family.

            He liked that word. He liked saying it. He loved that he was a part of one now. A whole one. Non-dysfunctional. When he said as much to Monica, she just laughed.

            "I don't know," she said. "We're still a little dysfunctional. But it's no fun to be completely normal." 

            "You are right," he said kissing her again. "This morning I wasn't sure if I would ever get to do this again." This time though, she remained silent. "Penny for your thoughts?"

            "I was just thinking, I feel terrible for Mona." That had not been what he was expecting. Monica felt bad for Mona? After everything she had put her through? 

            "What?"

            "She had to have been desperate to lie like that. She must have been lonely." Kissing her again, he held her close to him. 

            "You amaze me. Do you know that?" Not answering, she just let him hold her and pushed Mona out of her head. 

            Hannah was more than thrilled to see that her father was back and that her mother had stopped crying. The door flew open as Monica and Chandler sat in the kitchen eating breakfast. 

            "Mon? Are you okay?" Rachel's voice called out. 

            "Mommy? I drew you a picture, so you can be done crying now," Hannah yelled. 

            "Back here in the kitchen," Monica replied and Rachel and Hannah walked in and both saw Chandler sitting at the table.

            "Daddy!" Hannah said hoping onto his lap. 

            "Chandler? What are you doing here?" Rachel looked from Monica to Chandler. Monica shrugged and just smiled. 

            "How was your night sweetheart?" She asked Hannah.

            "It was great! Mommy, are you done being sad?"

            "Yes baby, I'm done being sad now," Monica answered and Rachel raised an eyebrow at her and leaned over.

            "What happened?"

            "I'll tell you later."

            "But everything's okay?" 

            "Everything's more than okay," Monica responded smiling as Hannah showed Chandler her picture. 

            Everything was much better than okay. 

~I'm thinking epilogue, what do you think? If you want one, give me a review, because I'm back at school and so if want one, you must ask! Thanks!~


	8. When the summers come

Thank you so much for the reviews! They were super, duper awesome! Anyway, here's the final part. I hope you review again and tell me what you thought of it! Thanks again!

Disclaimer: Do you really think I own them? Seriously? What gave you that idea? Not mine.

            "Monica!" Chandler slammed the door to his house and ran to find his wife. "Mon? Where are you?" 

            "In the kitchen," she called back. "Why are you yelling? You're going to wake the baby." Finding her in the kitchen, he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips and then smiled at her.

            "Sorry," he said. 

            "What are you so happy about?"

            "Can't I just be happy that I got to come home to my beautiful wife?" Raising one eyebrow, Monica looked at him.

            "No, seriously, why are you so happy?"  

            "Guess what we got today in the mail?"

            "What?"

            "A wedding invitation." Monica's face clouded with confusion.

            "Who do we know that's getting married?" She asked biting her lip thinking. 

            "Mona." Monica's eyes lit up.

            "She's getting married?"

            "That's right," he tossed the invitation onto the table and walked to the refrigerator grabbing a water bottle. "She's officially not my problem." 

            "And she sent us an invitation? Does she really expect us to come?" Monica asked looking up at him.

            "Apparently."  

            "We're not, right?" Chandler shook his head.

            "Of course not. Finally though, I won't have to pay her alimony! I won't have to worry about her! I'm now guilt free. You are looking at a guilt free man!" Monica laughed and stood up and gave him a kiss. 

            "I'm so happy for you," she told him. 

            "Daddy!"  Three-year-old Jamie came running from the living room where he and Hannah, who was nearly nine, were watching a video.  

            "Hey Jame," Chandler said picking him up. A baby's scream erupted through the house. 

            "I'll be right back," she told them, and made her way up the stairs and down the hall into the nursery. Leaning over the crib, she gently picked up her three-month-old daughter Alice, or Ally, and sat down in the rocking chair with her. Chandler appeared in the doorway a few minutes later and smiled at the sight of his wife looking down at Ally. 

            "Hey," she said softly looking up.

            "Hey, Ross just called, they will be over later." Monica nodded and looked down at Ally who was once again fast asleep. 

            "Okay," she said standing up. She placed Ally back in the crib and hugged her husband. "Did I ever tell you how awfully happy I was that you came back?"

            "Um…." He grinned. "No?"

            "Well, I am so awfully happy that you came back to us."

            "I should never have left in the first place," he told her kissing her gently. She shrugged.

            "You can't do that. You can't wish for things that have already happened to have not happened. It doesn't work like that."

            "You're right," he said. "Now, we need to RSVP to the blessed event and tell them it will be a cold day in Hell when we go to the wedding." Monica groaned and slipped away from him. 

            "You can do that," she told him. "I would have just gone for sorry, we can't make it. But you can do anything you would like." Chandler grinned and reached out and pulled her to him again.

            "Anything?" 

            "I meant regarding the wedding!" Monica said laughing.

            "I didn't." 

            "Hey!" The door opened and Ross and Rachel came bustling in with their children. Ben, who was now a moody teenager, came slouching in behind them. Eight year old Emma immediately asked where Hannah was.

            "The playroom," Monica replied and Emma took off to find her. "Jamie's in there too." Six-year-old Kyle nodded and followed his big sister. 

            "Hey Ben," Chandler said. "Guess what I got? I'm not allowed to keep it anywhere but the basement," he looked at his wife. "But it's still the greatest thing ever." Ben reluctantly followed his uncle to the basement where there were all of Chandler's toys. Playstation, foosball, a pool table, and his new pinball machine. 

            "Thanks," Ross said when Chandler came back up and reported that Ben was happily occupied. 

            "You're welcome," Chandler said smiling and sitting down next to Monica. 

            "What's this?" Rachel was pouring herself a glass of wine at the counter and came across the invitation.

            "It's an invitation to Mona's wedding," Monica replied.

            "She invited you?" Ross inquired surprised. 

            "Isn't it great?" Chandler asked dreamily. 

            "That she invited you?" Rachel asked raising an eyebrow.

            "No, that she's getting married," Chandler responded. "No more Mona."

            "That is great," Ross told him. "Hear, hear." They raised their glasses and Chandler slipped an arm around Monica.

            "Of course we're not going," Monica said. "I don't think she really wanted us there anyway. It was just a way of telling us."

            "Maybe she does actually want you there," Rachel said. "Maybe it's her way of showing you that she's moved on." 

            "Whatever it is," Chandler spoke up. "It's good news." And that it was. Mona was married. It was guilt off of Monica too. For years Monica had felt terrible. For all purposes, she had stolen Chandler away from Mona, she had everything that she could ever want. And Mona…well, Mona didn't. On their wedding day, Monica was terrified that Mona would show up and ruin it, and she knew that Mona had come. She had booked a room for herself in the Plaza on the same day and Monica spotted her looking on while she waited outside on her father's arm to go in. But to her credit, Mona stayed hidden. She didn't cause a scene as Monica had feared; she didn't burst in and demand that Chandler stay with her. Instead, she simply stood outside the door and listened the best that she could. 

            And because of all this, Monica had never really let go of the guilt that she had felt when Chandler came back to tell her that Mona had lied. The guilt that she had taken something that might not been rightfully hers. Chandler told her that this was ridiculous. 

            "Of course I'm rightfully yours. I'm yours, Mon. I couldn't possibly be anyone else's."

            "But…." She knew he was right. She knew that they were meant to be. It was as simple as that. They had always been perfect for each other, and it was just youth and stupidity that had broken them up the first time. But still, it just was there sometimes. That guilt. When she would watch Jamie and Hannah play or sleep, when Chandler would surprise her in bed with breakfast, or with a dinner alone together, she would think to herself that this could be happening to Mona. And it wasn't. Guilt was a terrible thing. 

            And so it wasn't only Chandler who was celebrating this marriage. It wasn't as if she had lived her life constantly with this guilt hanging over her head, it just popped up every once in awhile, and now it would be gone for good. So, she smiled with him, and toasted to the lucky bride and the unsuspecting groom, and was happy. 

            She had everything she wanted. Three children, a wonderful husband who adored her, and great friends. Everything that could possibly make her happy. 

            So very, very happy. 

~There you go! That was just a short little epilogue to wrap things up and let you know that they lived happily ever after (good for them!). Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks~


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